Thursday, October 23, 2008

Something to gnaw on...

Recently my cousin (who I really respect and like) sent me an email chain supporting the ban of gay marriage in California. I have seen a lot of this going around lately and I finally felt like I needed to voice my opinion. This is the last letter I wrote him after we had shared a few thoughts back and forth…

Billy Joe Bob (I am protecting his anonymity),

Before we end our little debate I would like to take this full circle. Let’s go back to what sparked this whole thing; the Proposition 8 vote and others like it around the country. You clearly have a moral issue with gay marriage. Your personal values tell you that gay marriage is wrong. If you wanted to forbid it in your family, religion, or faith, I do not seek to sway you in any way. I honestly respect and understand where you are coming from. What I cannot understand why you feel you would need to force your personal believes by voting to ban gay marriage.

We don’t get to choose whom we are attracted to. I’ve never made the choice that I’m attracted to women; it is just how I am made up. Based upon your previous argument you feel the same way. We believe people are born gay. Just as people are born black, straight, female or redhead: we cannot change who we are. Nor should we try. Then how can we as a society (Americans no less) tell homosexuals that they do not have the right to the same freedoms that we have?

Turn the tables for once. What if your religion and government told you that being straight was evil. Marriage between man and woman was unnatural. Would you start looking for a boyfriend? Would women suddenly become repulsive? Of course not…nothing would change. You would still be attracted to women. You would still seek a life partner. And you would still want to marry the girl of your dreams. You cannot change who you are.

So why is it that we all agree people are born gay, but then turn around and fault them for it? We continue to push it further by stating that they do not have the right to act upon what’s normal to them. And take it all the way by voting (even campaigning) against gay marriage. It doesn’t make sense. I have been married for 6 years. I have a beautiful wife and 2 incredible children. I didn’t marry Brynn because she was a woman. I didn’t marry Brynn because someone deemed it socially acceptable. I married Brynn because I loved her and wanted to spend my life with her. How could I possibly justify denying someone else of that freedom?

You are right about one thing; marriage doesn’t mean a whole lot anymore. I can get married in a drive-thru in Vegas (by Elvis). I can mail order a bride from Russia. I can even marry 2 women (in Colorado City). Marriage is simply a word. What marriage can be is what makes it special. Marriage can be a life long partnership between two people that love, respect and cherish one another. Marriage, when treasured is something I hope to never rob anyone of, regardless of gender.

You do not belief that gay marriage is good for you and your values. I respect that. But what gives you the right to tell people how to live? Why would you want to rob someone of their liberty and pursuit of happiness? This vote is not a poll for our moral values; if won, it will deny people of the right to be who they are.

-Steve

6 comments:

Jamie and Covie Gonzales said...

Wow. Powerful words Steve. I couldn't agree with you more. You word things so well. Good for you!

Ashley said...

I have to preface this comment by saying that this has been an issue that I've really struggled with for a while and this is not meant to be preachy or change your opinions in any way. I recently found the transcript of an interview with Elder Oaks about gay marriage. The interviewer asks every question that you've brought up in your post. Read it here http://www.newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/public-issues/same-gender-attraction. Again, I'm not trying to change your opinion at all and I'm sincerely looking to have a friendly debate with people about this in an effort to find my own opinion. I am just interested to know what your response to Elder Oaks' answers would be. Please post your response.

BTW - Whatever happened with XanGo on Tuesday? Hope everything went well :)

Lamb Fam said...

I just wrote a freakin novel in this comment section, then erased it. It was a little harsh- and wordy.
All I'll say is that I 'm with you, Steve. I think it's easy to see this black and white when you aren't PERSONALLY effected by this. I, too, have and AMAZING and FABULOUS sister who is lesbian who I believe deserves all the rights and happiness that I have.
There is only one judge, and it's not us...

Suzanne G said...

I totally disagree! People are NOT born gay, read the prophets words "Gender is an essential charactertisic of individual premortal, mortal and eternal identity and purpose" The gender we were born as is the gender we were before we came to earth. God does not mess up. Furthermore, if same-sex marriage passes then your children will will learn about it in kindergarden, they will be SOOOOOO confused. We need to protect marriage to be between one man and one woman. People who choose to have sex with the same gender can keep that to themselves and not push it in my face. The gay lifestyle is wrong. It's all temptation from Satan just like some people are more inclined to gamble, drink alcohol, drugs, these are all temptations. Thru the atonement of Christ all these weaknesses can be overcome. I have weaknesses too.

Jodi said...

What is up? So, I have to leave a comment. I love you guys. I want everyone to be happy which is why this is hard for me to post.

I have friends and co-workers who are gay that I ABSOLUTELY adore. We're all just people going through life. I didn't really have an opinion on this matter as it did not directly impact me as a person. However, as I study and understand the ramifications it will have upon my church I now know where I need to stand.

First reason, a gay couple will be able to ask a bishop in my church to marry them. Now, I know people are thinking why would they want an LDS bishop to marry them? However, most people know the church is worth alot of money. If a bishop refuses to marry a couple they can sue the church for not recognizing their rights. I do not want my church to become financially unstable. I do not want my church to have to fight off case after case when there is more important work to be done.

Second reason, several years down the road as families are built with the foundation of homosexual parents genealogy will stop for these families. Temple work will stop for the dead. Children will not be able to be sealed to their parents.

So there you go. Those are my reasons.

Rachel said...

I have had this conversations many times with many people, and the conclusion I have come to is that I have no idea what the answers are. And I have a hard time when people (usually those against gay marriage or gay relationships altogether) pretend that they DO have all of the answers.