To My Son...

With a new boy on the way (less than 30 days!), I often think about what he will be like. I don’t have a particular profile of what I want him to become; he can be an athlete, a scholar, a politician, or a musician. He can do anything he wants in life and I will love and respect him. The do’s are endless, it’s the DO NOT’s that concern me the most. I have compiled a short list of DO NOT’s that my son must know before he is born.

10 Simple Rules for Becoming My Son

1. Don’t be one upper. Everyone hates a one-upper. The only thing worse than a one-upper is…. don’t be that guy.

2. Don’t ever disregard proper urinal etiquette standard: 1 urinal minimum between you and another urinator. (Single Exception: Sporting Events)

3. Don’t be a Yankee fan. Everyone will hate you.

4. Don’t be a BYU fan. Everyone may not hate you, but I will.

5. Don’t be they guy who talks about how fast he drives…”Well, it will take you 4 hours to get to St. George…but, when I drive 3.”.Great dude, go drive off a cliff.

6. Don’t be the guy in the office who takes a practice golf swing (without a club) every 10 minutes. Everyone hates that guy and his 29-handicap.

7. Don’t tell me your becoming a male cheerleader for “the chicks”. Just come out, I will love you just the same.

8. Don’t be mean to your mother. She may never hurt you, but I will. So be nice.

9. Don’t be the kid that tries to nickname himself. If you are that kid, chances are you already have a nickname that you don’t know about.

10. If you wear G-Unit clothing, you have better of joined a prominent gang. Similar rule, if you wear skater shoes, you had better be able to do at least a kick flip or drop in a half pipe or something. Similar offenses: Do not tuck anything into basketball shorts and do not wear socks with sandals.

There will be other do not's, but this should keep you honest for a while. You have a got a Mommy, Daddy and big sister who can’t wait to meet you…see you soon…

Love,

DAD