Apples to apples, your life probably sucks...

I assure you my blogging intentions are quite pure. I always think I will keep this blog up to date, but I just don’t. Don’t worry it’s not you, it’s me. Blogging falls into the same category as Bon Iver and Tim Tebow. I should like them. I want to like them. I just don’t.

Neither here nor there (or anywhere) I guess.

Calan received his 2nd cochlear implant on December 5th and is doing really well. The surgery itself was in the words of (once again relevant) Charles Barkley “trr-ible”. It really was a nightmare. The poor guy was so sad and just didn’t understand why we would allow the doctors to hurt him. For parents out there with CI kids, the second surgery is not any easier than the first. But recovery was *quick and now he is back to his old self. We are still working on getting the map to where it needs to be, but we have already seen a real difference in localization.

*Note for CI parents. We fought Calan for an entire week to get him to wear the second implant. It was awful, but we stuck with it and now he prefers it. So hang in there.

Londyn just turned 14, which is really exciting. (Wait. What’s that? Seriously? ) My mistake - apparently Londyn is still 5-years-old. Maybe it’s the fact that she carries around her iPod touch and pretends to text her friends. Maybe it’s the fact that she asked me if her pen was “handcrafted”. Maybe it’s the fact that she rolls her eyes at her almost 31 year-old Dad and makes him feel ridiculous. Either way, she is lucky she has me wrapped around her finger or she would find herself victim of my unholy scathing wrath.

But my favorite child is Hadley. (What do you mean I can’t say that?) Alright, let me rephrase. I “love” Hadley the most. (No good?) Okay let me try again. If I had to pick just one…too far? Okay, okay. But she is an unbelievably good baby. I dare anyone who reads this to hold Haddie for just a minute or two and not fall completely in love with the little girl.

I know what you are thinking. “Wow Steve, compared to you – my life sucks. Your kids are way cuter than mine and your wife is like a super model you get to have unprotected sex with. How great would it be to be in your shoes for only one day?”

And you would be absolutely right.

"I just had to"

Londyn adores Hadley. She is such a good big sister and so helpful to Brynn and I – but we did have a little incident where Londyn found herself in hot water. Londyn was playing with Haddie in her bouncer the other day when Brynn heard Haddie scream out in pain. Brynn rushed into the room and found Londyn with a very guilty look on her face. “What happened?!” Brynn asked as she picked Haddie up and tried to console her. Londyn looked up with tear filled eyes and confessed “I bit her nose.” Brynn was beside herself and sent Londyn to her room. When I got home from work I was informed that I needed to talk to Londyn about what happened.

Brynn had dance class that night so I let it slide until I was putting Londyn to bed that night. Finally alone I asked her, “Why did you do it? You are so good with Hadley. What on earth caused you to bite her little nose?” With a remorseful look and a trembling lip Londyn said, “I don’t know. I was just playing with her and giving her kisses when I looked up and saw her little nose. And I don’t know why dad, but I just had to bite it. I couldn’t help myself.”

I guess the old adage of “you are so cute, I could just eat you up” ended up being just too tempting for Haddie’s big sister.

Same thing...different results

I wrote this in our blog about Calan 3 years ago...

Driving in the car, Cal crying in his car seat, and his 2 1/2 year old sister is singing him Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, because she knows when she is upset, singing helps calm her. Cal continues to cry, because he cannot hear his big sister singing her little heart out. And though she talks and sings to him all the time, Cal has never heard his big sisters voice...heartbreaking.

This happened on the way home from Grandpa and Grandma’s on a warm summer night. Cal was only a few months old, riding in his car seat and completely hysterical. This little moment broke my heart. I wanted so desperately for Londyn's little brother to hear her voice.

Tonight the exact same thing happened. In fact, the situation was jarringly similar. Warm summer night, driving home from Grandpa and Grandma’s, and a hysterical baby crying in the back seat. But this time it was little Hadley. She was inconsolable. After a while I heard Londyn's little voice in the back seat singing, “The Itsby, Bitsy Spider went up the water spout…”. My mind flashed back to the same moment with Cal, and my heart began to feel the same sharp pain. But then a miraculous and unexpected thing happened. Little Haddie started to calm down. I began to chalk it up to one of life’s strange coincidences when I saw movement in my rearview mirror. I looked back and noticed that Londyn was not just singing to her little sister, but she was signing the song to her as well. Haddie’s little eyes were fixed on Londyn's hands as “the rains came down and washed the spider out”. Sure enough her cries subsided as Londyn's hands and voice calmed her baby sister.

I was so proud of her...of all of us! What an incredible change our family has gone through in the past 3 years. An identical situation three years ago brought heartache and pain, but today it brought happiness and hope.

What a journey...

Welcome to the World Miss Hadley

On June 22nd, 2011 our little family of 4 became a moderately sized family of 5. Hadley Perkins was born 6 lbs. 12 oz., blonde hair, blue eyes and is doing great. You forget how tiny newborns are. Hadley makes Calan look like a mid-sized linebacker. It’s fun to have a newborn in the house again, especially a little girl. Since this is our last kiddo, Brynn is soaking up every fleeting moment she can with Hadley. Calan shows mild interest in his baby sister, but Londyn adores her. She is such a good big sister, and helps her mom out a lot. We were warned again and again that the 3rd kid was the hardest. But so far it has been pretty good (granted we haven’t been overly adventurous). I imagine in a few weeks when Londyn starts kindergarten and Cal starts pre-school, our lives may be turned upside down.



For those that have asked or wondered - we did find out that little Miss Haddie is deaf. She failed her hearing screening at the hospital, so we scheduled a follow up ABR. (They test her little brain for sound response.) She is completely deaf, just like her big brother. I won’t lie, Brynn and I were devastated. We wallowed in sadness and our own self pity for about 24 hours. After a day or so of wallowing we decided it was time to move on. It’s pretty hard to stay down when you hold a beautiful baby girl in your arms. And when you listen to her deaf big brother sing her every word to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, there just isn’t much room for sadness. The road is hard, but fortunately it’s a road we know. So thank you all for your support and love. But this little family is going to be just fine. We may be the loudest house on the block, but we wouldn't have it any other way.

A Day in the Life...

Unfortunately our house and kids usually look and dress like this. Fortunately they also do stuff like this all the time.

Hello? Anyone?

I’m BAAAACK! – and as irrelevant as ever! Much like a Brittney Spears concert tour announcemetnt; I’m sure that the zero people that read this blog are rejoicing in my triumphant return.

Where to start? I guess I will start with the family.

Sadly Brynn has become horribly fat. I mean, really fat. I don’t know what happened –around 9 months ago she started putting on weight and now...– I mean it has gotten completely ridiculous. (What’s that?...Really?! Oh…)

UPDATE: Apparently Brynn is pregnant. 37 weeks to be exact. Phew! That is a relief. In a few short weeks we will have a new addition to the family. We are terr-ited (mix of terrified and excited). We will keep you up to date and will stream the complete live delivery on this blog - stay tuned!

Londyn just turned 5-years-old and heads to Kindergarten on August 3rd. I know you think you kids are cute and I’m sure they are – but they are probably dogfaces compared to Londyn. She is absolutely adorable keeps me laughing all day long. She still loves to dance and takes everything you say absolutely literal. I love that girl - even though with her blonde hair and blue eyes I'm 80% sure she is not mine.

Cal turns 3 in August and has discreetly turned from sweet little boy to terrorizing toddler. It is not that he is malicious or naughty – he just simply has no regard for anything containing matter or substance. But he has been out of diapers and in a big boy bed for 3 months so with that credit he worked his way up to a B-. Good on ya kid. He is doing incredibly well in speech/hearing. I will have to post video for you soon to boast how awesome he is.

That is my family in a nutshell (no idea what that means).

Happy Holidays!

I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas this year! We had a great time, and Santa brought some great toys this year. Londyn asked Santa for a boom box with a microphone, and Cal asked for a train. Mommy and Daddy asked for a new dresser and a plasma TV! All in all it was a success. Here are a few pictures to highlight the fun we had!

My Boy

Cal celebrated his one year hearing anniversary on the 5th of October. I cannot even begin to express how incredible this journey has been. Cal was born profoundly deaf – which means he heard nothing, notta, zip, zero. Two years ago we were told that our tiny little boy lived in complete and utter silence. So it was no small miracle, that on October the 5th of 2009; for the first time in his life, Cal could hear. For the first time in his little life he heard the voice of his mommy, and the sound of his big sister singing at the top of her lungs. He heard the mingling of laughter as his daddy tickled his ribs. A little boy whose world was absolute silence, could hear. So ended our journey…or so we thought.

As life has often taught me, the end of a journey is only the beginning of another. The last 365 days has been a blur of speech therapy, audiologists, doctors and homework. And slowly the little boy that could hear his mommy's voice for the first time, now cries out the word mommy. A little boy who could hear the screeching song of his big sister, now screeches right along with her. And now, one year later, our deaf little boy stumbles his chub around the house screaming out “Londyn, where are you!” whenever his adored sister is not in sight. As we walk through the refrigerated aisle at the grocery store he stops and whispers, “BRRRR it’s cold”. During his bedtime routine he lets you know, clear as day, that “I brush teeth” and “I read books!”

We are so proud of our little man. Happy anniversary buddy, I can’t wait to see what this next year brings.

Destin, FL

If I retire somewhere, I think it may be down in Destin, FL. Flour white sand, crystal clear water, great restaurants and as far as I know - not a flake of snow all year round. Yes sir, I could definitely see Brynn and I gathering seashells on the shores of Destin in our Depends.

The trip was incredible. Even with a few minor set backs (record heat and algae beaches) we still had a great time. Even Cal on the plane (the thought alone gave me night sweats and shortness of breathe) did relatively well at 30,000 ft. Londyn loved playing with her cousins and Brynn even got herself an 8th grade Raging Waters Summer Pass Tan. A rare feat for for a mother of 2.

All in all. A good vacation with even better people.

Our Quiet Summer

Yeah, yeah it’s been a while. Figure I’d give the quick Summer update. Londyn finished up dance and got a ridiculous trophy for being “Dancer of the Year”. Brynn pretended not to care, but she was beaming. I had to spend a week in St. Thomas for work, so Brynn volunteered to come along. We got stuck in Chicago for a few days, so we hit up a Cubbies game to make the best of it. Finally made it to St. Thomas where it was beautiful. If you ever have the chance to make it to St. John’s Island - GO! Best beaches in the world. (At least that I have seen.) Spent the 4th of July in Park City with our little family and are considering making into a tradition. Between all that we have managed camping and I’m not sure, but Brynn may have moved down to St George with her sister at some point. (Every free weekend she finds her way down there.)

Other than that we haven’t done a thing.

Londyn turned 4 years old!

Londyn (of course) wanted a Disney Princess Party. It was a lovely day; so lovely we decided to have her party in the backyard. We put up tables and chairs and decorated the backyard with ribbon and balloons. Cinderella herself couldn’t have been more proud. Brynn even bought Londyn a huge Princess Castle balloon that she was thrilled about. The whole family was over: cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. We were set for a glorious evening. Just as everyone was settling in the incident occurred.

The boys were running around the back yard when Londyn's cousin ran by the balloons and couldn’t help but give them a little smack as he ran by. The balloons seemed to weather the assault except for one single balloon that dislodged itself from its string. 25 people watched in horror as the beloved big castle balloon slowly drifted away. Complete silence filled the backyard as the castle floated further and further into the earth’s atmosphere. The eerie silence was finally broken by a scream of a newly minted 4-year-old little girl. Londyn was devastated. It literally took me 15 minutes to stifle the sobs coming from her little body. The rest of the night was perfect. Presents to piñata, all had a great time – but looming in the northeast quadrant of the sky a little black dot with a drawbridge seemed to be mocking us from on high.

Happy Birthday Lou!

Trying to keep up with these 2...

It's Grow Time...

Alright Gents,

Entering it's 4th consecutive year, the time is upon us. As what started as a stiff breeze of male has turned into a full-force man-soon! I foresee a torrential downpour of testosterone and hair reigning upon our manly faces.

I speak of the one and only Cinco de Mustache.

The rules are simple:

1. Growing season begins April 1st.
2. Your face is your canvas; you do with it what you wish. Whether it be a beard, a goatee or the pure mustache. You grow until May 5, Cinco de Mustache.
3. On Cinco de Mustache, for the entire day, you must wear some form of mustache: the Handlebar, the Molester, the Moustachio (affectionately known as the Selleck), the Pornstache, the Walrus. It is your nose undergrowth, you decide. But for one day, May 5, you wear a mustache.
4. And remember, a mustache is an island. By connecting, you only cheat yourself.

The time is now! Relish your flavor savor. Conquer your mouth brow. Let your lip-mane ride free. Feed your face manimal.

It’s time to shed the shackles of the naked upper lip and tell the world “I am Man”. Put on your magnificent lip warmer friend, and join Cinco de Mustache!

Toss the razors and damn the wives. This is our DESTINY!

Good luck friends. Growing season starts Thursday.



A trip down man-mory lane - Cinco de Mustache 2009

Bye Bye Dude

Quick Cal Update...

The little fat man finally figured it out. After 14 months of immobility and 5 months of raw knees, he finally is up and waddling around on his own two feet. He cracks me up when he walks. It’s like watching a balloon animal wobble around the house. Besides walking he is also talking. It’s only been 5-months since we activated his cochlear implant and he is already saying about 10 words. It has been really fun to watch him learn to use his voice.

Walking and talking. The little dude is growing up…

Work-ation

Took a little trip to Florida for work. And for those that say “Lucky, you got to go to Florida! I spent exactly 40 minutes outside of the hotel over the span 4 days. It was grueling and I am exhausted. So no. Not lucky me.

But there were some bright spots. I did get to drive an Audi R8. And for those that don’t know what that is; open another browser. No seriously, stop reading this and Google Audi R8 – I’ll wait...

How sexy is that car? Anyway, neither here nor there.

The one thing I do love about traveling though is the music. I don’t know what people did before ipods, but I pity them. What is better than cruising at 35,000 ft. rediscovering some lost gems in a random playlist somewhere. Do you remember how good Lightening Crashes (Live) is? What about some old Tom Petty? I don’t think I’ll ever reach enlightenment, but if I do it will be listening to the Eels at 6 ½ miles above the surface of the earth.

STEVE RECOMMENDS: Artists perfect for when you are at cruising speed: Anything by the Eels, Weepies, and for good measure throw in a classic like the Garden State soundtrack. You won’t be disappointed.

…and Delta? For hells sake just throw the baggage fee on my ticket price. This is getting ridiculous.

A Rather Belated Christmas...

Londyn - Christmas morning

Cal & Lou - Christmas Day

Steve & Beav - still going strong

Cal climbing...as usual

These will be the good ol' days.

May Your Days be Merry & Bright

The Rant of an Old Man

I got cut off on the way to work this morning. The slam on your brakes, spill your contained beverage on your work khakis, cut off. And do you know what I did? Nothing. Notta. Zip. In fact, I wasn’t even that upset. I began the why process and came to one conclusion. Age. It’s not that I don’t have the youthful energy to flip someone the legendary long Perkins eff-you finger anymore - it’s that age has changed me. So here’s my theory. As we age, we change. Some good, some bad – but like it or not, it happens. Turns out at 28 years and 11 months, I am now officially too old for road rage. Take MTV for example. For years I watched MTV. And sometime in the last 5 years, I’ve stopped. MTV didn’t change, I did. It’s not that I am outraged or disgusted by the content, I just don’t get it anymore.

And when I hear popular music, I wonder how kids relate to it. To kids across America, is Killers to you what Weezer was to me? Is your Kanye my Snoop? Nickelback my Nirvana ? Your Jonas Brothers my Hansen?( …I’m kidding. Seriously, I was kidding about Hansen. I never listened to Hansen. SHUT YOUR FACE! EVERYBODY LOVED MMM.. BOPP!) But I digress.

Then there is my liberalism. Oh to go back to the days of when things were black and white. Black and white is so much easier than gray. But the older I get I figure life is hard enough without being rigid in my judgments. I’ve gone as far as liberalizing myself out of a religion. (insert awkward laugh here)

Maybe it’s being a month away from the big 2-Niner. Maybe you’ll read this and think me a rambling fool. But you can’t spell change without age. (I just made that up. Right here – on the spot. Honest truth, just as I typed it, I made it up.)

On to the point! The point is…oh forget it. I’m getting too old for this.

Dear Santa...

Actually, this is Londyn's letter to Santa this year. Londyn talked and Brynn wrote.

Dear Santa,

You’re the coolest guy. You give presents. I want a unicorn, princess castle and princesses. Actually, I want Hungry Hippo. I think I need another present. Actually, I want my own tape. I want a new shirt that is actually green, so that I can where it to pre-school tomorrow. Bye- Bye and I love you.

Sincerely,

Londyn Perkins